Good Day All:
What are you looking at down there? As you go through your day do you ever wonder what people are looking at? Many times they are looking down as they walk, talk, work, etc. (Too often it is because they are on their phone. Subject for a future blog!) The more we look down, the more we look down. And the more we look down, the more things appear down, fearful, and negative.
It is such a great practice to get in the habit of Looking Up. Metaphorically, when we are "looking up" we are more likely to be more positive and to feel better. Biologically, when we are "looking up" we are using the upper part of our brain, and more of our brain. It is just makes sense to look up more.
Watch children as they play. They are looking everywhere. They really enjoy looking up. They know how to naturally use their eyes to trigger their brain and to use more of their brain to enjoy the world.
When we set goals, we need to "keep our eye on the mark" so that we do not lose sight of where we want to be. Likewise, as we move through the day we will see more options and more opportunities by looking up.
Each of us, with very few exceptions, has a cave we hide in and this cave usually contains a scary dragon, or other emotional animal. We may no longer identify the dragon, we just live with it and we experience, anxiety, fear, depression, etc. We have pulled such a pile of leaves and grass and garbage over it we can't even see it any more.
One of the challenges and opportunities in life is to learn how to bring more light into our life. A very good place to begin is at the very beginning. Bring in more light into our life, by simply looking up.
A fun activity is to get some helium balloons. ( Get them from the dollar stores. They are cheap and actually last longer.) Use a magic marker and write down some worries, fears, concerns, etc., on the balloon. Go outside and release the balloon. Watch the balloon until you can no longer see it. Let go of your thoughts while you look up and enjoy the movement of the balloon.
Enjoy letting go!
Make a Great Week
Dr. Susan
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
Friends
Greetings All
This past week I had a wonderful opportunity to spend time in sunny (and a bit rainy) Florida with some old (literally and figuratively) high school friends. One of our classmates was so gracious and generous as to invite us down, and provide wonderful accommodations for us. The trip itself was wonderful.
The part I want to blog about, however, is the FRIEND part. We were not the "gang" who "hung" out in high school. We range from the brianiack , to the cheer leader, to the nerd, to the invisible, and everything in between. Many of are in several categories. We are an unlikely mix. That is what makes it so wonderful. We have a wonderful time together. We do not need to judge, "dress right," or impress any one. We can just be who we have become and embrace each other's differences and love and appreciate that we have such wonderful friends.
We all commented that we should have learned this lesson is high school. Too bad it took several decades for us to like ourselves, have some confidence, have an opinion and be willing to share it and do not shun someone because he/she has a different opinion than yours. That does not make them right and you wrong, or does it make you right and them wrong. Different an be a great opportunity to practice patience, love, understanding, learning, acceptance, and so many other things.
Make sure to hug the friends that are close to you. Write or call (not text, or e-mail) the ones who are not close enough to reach out and hug today.
Be confident in yourself. You have a great treasure chest of values, and qualities. Share them and let them shine forth. Why do we become so afraid to share who we really are and all of our qualities. Find your true self, and share it with others. This world would be a much better place.
Here's to friends. Here's to you and here's to me.
Make a Great Day
Dr. Susan
This past week I had a wonderful opportunity to spend time in sunny (and a bit rainy) Florida with some old (literally and figuratively) high school friends. One of our classmates was so gracious and generous as to invite us down, and provide wonderful accommodations for us. The trip itself was wonderful.
The part I want to blog about, however, is the FRIEND part. We were not the "gang" who "hung" out in high school. We range from the brianiack , to the cheer leader, to the nerd, to the invisible, and everything in between. Many of are in several categories. We are an unlikely mix. That is what makes it so wonderful. We have a wonderful time together. We do not need to judge, "dress right," or impress any one. We can just be who we have become and embrace each other's differences and love and appreciate that we have such wonderful friends.
We all commented that we should have learned this lesson is high school. Too bad it took several decades for us to like ourselves, have some confidence, have an opinion and be willing to share it and do not shun someone because he/she has a different opinion than yours. That does not make them right and you wrong, or does it make you right and them wrong. Different an be a great opportunity to practice patience, love, understanding, learning, acceptance, and so many other things.
Make sure to hug the friends that are close to you. Write or call (not text, or e-mail) the ones who are not close enough to reach out and hug today.
Be confident in yourself. You have a great treasure chest of values, and qualities. Share them and let them shine forth. Why do we become so afraid to share who we really are and all of our qualities. Find your true self, and share it with others. This world would be a much better place.
Here's to friends. Here's to you and here's to me.
Make a Great Day
Dr. Susan
Gratitude
Good Morning All:
I hope that you are all finding something everyday to be grateful for. Gratitude is such a gift for us to have and to share.
No matter what you are experiencing in your life at this time, you can take a moment and find something to be grateful for. There is a difference between an attitude of gratitude and the action of being grateful. It is great to begin with the attitude of gratitude and then we need to put that attitude into action. When we are grateful it is also easier for us to have less anxiety, be a bit happier, and find more joy. Acting on gratitude is a gift that blesses us as well as those we love and those we are around. Imagine what a wonderful world this would be if everyone practiced gratitude every day with everyone they meet!
The brain works on the law of physics. Perhaps you didn't realize how much you really needed to learn physics. Just as two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time, two thoughts/attitudes cannot occupy our brain attention at the same time. When we are grateful, we reduced negative thoughts and negative attitudes and feelings.
Be grateful every day and share your gratitude with others.
Make a Great Day
Dr. Susan
I hope that you are all finding something everyday to be grateful for. Gratitude is such a gift for us to have and to share.
No matter what you are experiencing in your life at this time, you can take a moment and find something to be grateful for. There is a difference between an attitude of gratitude and the action of being grateful. It is great to begin with the attitude of gratitude and then we need to put that attitude into action. When we are grateful it is also easier for us to have less anxiety, be a bit happier, and find more joy. Acting on gratitude is a gift that blesses us as well as those we love and those we are around. Imagine what a wonderful world this would be if everyone practiced gratitude every day with everyone they meet!
The brain works on the law of physics. Perhaps you didn't realize how much you really needed to learn physics. Just as two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time, two thoughts/attitudes cannot occupy our brain attention at the same time. When we are grateful, we reduced negative thoughts and negative attitudes and feelings.
Be grateful every day and share your gratitude with others.
Make a Great Day
Dr. Susan
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
Anxiety
Good Morning All:
Anxiety is something that most people deal with. Some have more problems with anxiety than others. Today, I would like to share a few management tools for dealing with anxiety.
First of all focus on good hydration every day THIS MEANS WATER (not coffee, tea, soda, energy or power drinks). Good old H2O. Best thing ever.
Second, good management of nutrition. Limit fats, sugars, carbohydrates, and processed foods. Focus on vegetables, fruits and protein. Have a small protein snack about 30 minutes before bedtime. (Ice cream is not a protein snack). This is good for adults as well as children. It will help you sleep better, and wake up with more energy.
Third, daily body movement (exercise). Work, housework and following children around are not examples of exercise. We all need about 30-60 minutes of body movement (exercise) per day. This does not have to be all at once. Some examples of effective exercise are walking,jogging, yoga, stretching, biking, tai chi, palates,dance - anything that will move your body and relax your mind.
Another tip for today is to calm and refocus the brain and mind.
Sit down for a few minutes.
Focus on your breathing - take deep belly breaths
Count as you inhale, exhale one more count than you inhaled
Now say out loud or to yourself:
3 things you see
3 things you hear
3 things you feel (outside of your body)
2 things you see
2 things you hear
2 things you feel
1 thing you see
1 thing you hear
1 thing you feel
Relax and breathe again
Make a Great Day
Dr. Susan
Anxiety is something that most people deal with. Some have more problems with anxiety than others. Today, I would like to share a few management tools for dealing with anxiety.
First of all focus on good hydration every day THIS MEANS WATER (not coffee, tea, soda, energy or power drinks). Good old H2O. Best thing ever.
Second, good management of nutrition. Limit fats, sugars, carbohydrates, and processed foods. Focus on vegetables, fruits and protein. Have a small protein snack about 30 minutes before bedtime. (Ice cream is not a protein snack). This is good for adults as well as children. It will help you sleep better, and wake up with more energy.
Third, daily body movement (exercise). Work, housework and following children around are not examples of exercise. We all need about 30-60 minutes of body movement (exercise) per day. This does not have to be all at once. Some examples of effective exercise are walking,jogging, yoga, stretching, biking, tai chi, palates,dance - anything that will move your body and relax your mind.
Another tip for today is to calm and refocus the brain and mind.
Sit down for a few minutes.
Focus on your breathing - take deep belly breaths
Count as you inhale, exhale one more count than you inhaled
Now say out loud or to yourself:
3 things you see
3 things you hear
3 things you feel (outside of your body)
2 things you see
2 things you hear
2 things you feel
1 thing you see
1 thing you hear
1 thing you feel
Relax and breathe again
Make a Great Day
Dr. Susan
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Forgiveness
Good Day Everyone:
My topic for this week is "FORGIVENESS" Forgiveness can be a very daunting and yet a very rewarding activity.
Forgiveness is not for the person you feel has offended you. Forgiveness is a gift for you. When you forgive others, you give yourself the gift of letting go, of no longer harboring the pain, and best of all you no longer have to live in the past.
Many times we have the misconception that to forgive someone invalidates the pain and suffering we have felt. This simply is not true. When we forgive we can let go. Many times we then need to set a boundary with that person to protect our-self from future hurt or pain. Forgiving others does not make what they did to us "OK!" Forgiveness means we are done and moving from that event.
We may actually receive an apology and then we can forgive and set a boundary. We can then ask that person what he/she will do different next time in a similar experience. We may just need to forgive even when we do not get an apology.
"You never know how STRONG you are until being STRONG is the only choice you have"
Forgiveness can breath new life into us and give us peace and joy that we have forgotten.
"When you choose to forgive those who have hurt you, you take away their power"
"I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who wasn't sorry, and accept an apology I never received."
Forgive yourself as well as others
Make A Great Day
Dr. Susan
My topic for this week is "FORGIVENESS" Forgiveness can be a very daunting and yet a very rewarding activity.
Forgiveness is not for the person you feel has offended you. Forgiveness is a gift for you. When you forgive others, you give yourself the gift of letting go, of no longer harboring the pain, and best of all you no longer have to live in the past.
Many times we have the misconception that to forgive someone invalidates the pain and suffering we have felt. This simply is not true. When we forgive we can let go. Many times we then need to set a boundary with that person to protect our-self from future hurt or pain. Forgiving others does not make what they did to us "OK!" Forgiveness means we are done and moving from that event.
We may actually receive an apology and then we can forgive and set a boundary. We can then ask that person what he/she will do different next time in a similar experience. We may just need to forgive even when we do not get an apology.
"You never know how STRONG you are until being STRONG is the only choice you have"
Forgiveness can breath new life into us and give us peace and joy that we have forgotten.
"When you choose to forgive those who have hurt you, you take away their power"
"I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who wasn't sorry, and accept an apology I never received."
Forgive yourself as well as others
Make A Great Day
Dr. Susan
Monday, February 16, 2015
Intent and Parenting
Greetings All:
Last post discussed setting your own intent. How has that been working for you? Are you finding that you are more positive and that you actually get more done?
I would like to discuss intent and parenting. One of the most challenging parts of parenting is to understand the "WHY" of what a child did. We think if we know the "Why" then we can help the child make better choices. Actually the why is less important than the "WHAT". What is the child trying to accomplish? What is the purpose of their choice? What is the INTENT? When we understand the intent of the child, we can usually agree with it, and then we can really teach. We can then help the child make a decision that will accomplish the intent and stay out of trouble.
This works with our self as well. When we become upset what something we did, if we will take a few minutes to discover our real "Intent", we can usually come up with a much better solution.
Example, a child does not do his/her homework. What is his/her intent? Probably to have fun, they do not understand it, they are hungry, tired. When we has what did you really want to do (intent) or accomplish by not doing your homework, we have more information to work with. If it is about having fun, help the child prioritize. Remind him/her that there will be time to play, etc. Help the child understand the concept of getting what you want, by doing what you need to. Children are near sighted when it comes to what they want. They want it now. Helping children learn to delay gratification, be responsible before play, and loving the rewards of accomplishment and what they want is a great life skill lesson
What is the intent for a child lying? It is usually to stay out of trouble, they wish they would have made the better choice, etc. Help the child learn the value of honesty. This is a tough one and takes time - lots of time is some cases.
Remember that a consequence must make sense to the child in order for it to work. This makes parenting challenging and rewarding. Punitive punishment is just a power struggle, and you will usually lose. Consequences that teach life skills will be more long lasting. The child will learn to manage self - that is the goal.
I invite you to read: "The 5 Love Languages for Children" by Gary Chapman. It addresses many of these issues.
If you have question, please contact me (435) 841-4060; or drsnate@live.com
Make a Grate Day
Dr. Susan R. Nate, LPC, PhD
Choices for Change Counseling
Last post discussed setting your own intent. How has that been working for you? Are you finding that you are more positive and that you actually get more done?
I would like to discuss intent and parenting. One of the most challenging parts of parenting is to understand the "WHY" of what a child did. We think if we know the "Why" then we can help the child make better choices. Actually the why is less important than the "WHAT". What is the child trying to accomplish? What is the purpose of their choice? What is the INTENT? When we understand the intent of the child, we can usually agree with it, and then we can really teach. We can then help the child make a decision that will accomplish the intent and stay out of trouble.
This works with our self as well. When we become upset what something we did, if we will take a few minutes to discover our real "Intent", we can usually come up with a much better solution.
Example, a child does not do his/her homework. What is his/her intent? Probably to have fun, they do not understand it, they are hungry, tired. When we has what did you really want to do (intent) or accomplish by not doing your homework, we have more information to work with. If it is about having fun, help the child prioritize. Remind him/her that there will be time to play, etc. Help the child understand the concept of getting what you want, by doing what you need to. Children are near sighted when it comes to what they want. They want it now. Helping children learn to delay gratification, be responsible before play, and loving the rewards of accomplishment and what they want is a great life skill lesson
What is the intent for a child lying? It is usually to stay out of trouble, they wish they would have made the better choice, etc. Help the child learn the value of honesty. This is a tough one and takes time - lots of time is some cases.
Remember that a consequence must make sense to the child in order for it to work. This makes parenting challenging and rewarding. Punitive punishment is just a power struggle, and you will usually lose. Consequences that teach life skills will be more long lasting. The child will learn to manage self - that is the goal.
I invite you to read: "The 5 Love Languages for Children" by Gary Chapman. It addresses many of these issues.
If you have question, please contact me (435) 841-4060; or drsnate@live.com
Make a Grate Day
Dr. Susan R. Nate, LPC, PhD
Choices for Change Counseling
Monday, February 2, 2015
Intent
Greetings All:
I trust that you survived and hopefully thrived the holidays. How many of you set New Year's resolutions? How many of those have now been broken?
I prefer to focus on intents, rather than goals or resolutions. I know it just a word. However, it is the word that makes the different in the brain that ultimately affects the feeling and the experience. Intent is more gentle and opens the mind to possibilities. Intent suggest varying degrees of improvement and change, rather than the did or did not.
At the end of each day, identify three things you enjoyed during the day. Set an intent for the next day.
At the beginning of each day, identify what you are grateful for and remind yourself of your intent for the day.
These two simple ideas will make big differences in your thinking and in your life. There is always something we can remind our self that is positive in our life. We can always focus on a positive intent for our day.
Make a Great Day
Dr. Susan
I trust that you survived and hopefully thrived the holidays. How many of you set New Year's resolutions? How many of those have now been broken?
I prefer to focus on intents, rather than goals or resolutions. I know it just a word. However, it is the word that makes the different in the brain that ultimately affects the feeling and the experience. Intent is more gentle and opens the mind to possibilities. Intent suggest varying degrees of improvement and change, rather than the did or did not.
At the end of each day, identify three things you enjoyed during the day. Set an intent for the next day.
At the beginning of each day, identify what you are grateful for and remind yourself of your intent for the day.
These two simple ideas will make big differences in your thinking and in your life. There is always something we can remind our self that is positive in our life. We can always focus on a positive intent for our day.
Make a Great Day
Dr. Susan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)