Monday, August 31, 2009

Self Discovery

Good Monday:

Once there was a little girl who was very wise for her years - precocious was the big word that adults used when talking about her. She was tiny in size for her age. Dark brown ringlets abound her head and as she walked on her tip toes her ringlets would bounce with her body rhythm. She had an abundance of curiosity, and her talent for asking questions, to everyone she met, made her appear bigger than life - according to the town’s people.

One drizzly, rainy afternoon, Mrs. Tuballow, a stranger in town, was rapidly stepping toward the post office door when the large double doors swept open and before you could say “Johnny jump up,” Mrs. Tuballow ran smack dab into this tiny girl. Momentarily, both lost their balance and dropped the envelopes they held.

Recovering from the unexpected encounter, Mrs. Tuballow straightened her rain hat and asked,

“Just what is your name little girl?”

“IAM,” responded the little girl, as she bent over and picked up the envelopes that had fallen, and began reading the addresses.

“Never you mind!” Mrs. Tuballow stated in a stern voice as she grabbed her mail, adding a scowl on her forehead as she looked directly at IAM.

Matching Mrs. Tuballow’s facial expression, IAM questioned, “Where is Chicago, IL, and who do you know who lives there?”

Holding her envelopes close to her bosom, Mrs. Tuballow replied, “Hush up now, and tell me what you name is.”


“That can’t be your real name. What does your mother call you?”

“I keep telling you, IAM.”

“No mother would call her child that name. It must be a nickname. So what is your full real name?” Mrs. Tuballow asked, her voiced rising along with the color of her cheeks.

“Why is your face going red?” IAM asked, just brimming over with excitement.

“Stop that, this instant! You are a very rude child, and your name is not IAM. You need to learn some manners. Now get out of my way and go find out what your real name is.” Mrs. Tuballow pushed her way past IAM huffing and puffing - which shifted the beautiful ringlets on IAM’s head.

IAM bounced down the post office steps and headed north to the bakery where she always collected a special treat from Mr. Sucrosery. The jolly, round baker had been IAM’s best friend for as long as she could remember and would know what her real name was.

IAM opened the bakery store door and immediately took a deep breath. Her nose told her, yes, her best friend had baked her favorite cookie - golden brown chocolate chips with tasty black walnuts. “Oh, Mr. Sucrosery, how deliciously wonderful today smells.” Her voice matched the sweetness of the treat that was awaiting her arrival.

From the back room, appeared a man wearing a smile as broad as all out doors and eyes that twinkled as bright as the sun. He brought a very large cookie and handed it to IAM, asking,

“What has my best friend learned today to share with me?”

“I have a question for you today, Mr. Sucrosery. I met a stranger today and she said that my real name can’t be IAM. She said it must be a nick name and she told me to find my mother and ask her what my real name is. You knew my mother, what did she call me?”

“Why child, she always called you IAM.”

“Was that a nickname?”

“I don’t know. You were just learning to walk when I met you and your mother. I never heard her call you anything except IAM. I’m sorry I can’t help you.”

“Do you know who might know my real name?”

“I know your mother’s favorite place in town, for you and herself, was the zoo. She loved to visit with the animals. Maybe they could help you.” Mr. Sucrosery sighed as he patted IAM’s beautiful ringlet-covered head.

“Thank you, Mr. Sucrosery. I will visit the zoo this very afternoon.”
Nibbling on the golden brown chocolate chip cookie, IAM skipped down the street heading south toward the zoo, her ringlets dancing with every skip.

The first fenced area IAM came to a stream of water running this way and that with steep mud-packed sides and a worn path leading into the cloudy water. IAM kept her eyes focused on the still water, knowing that soon a familiar nose would appear just to say hello. Seeing tiny ripples appear, it wasn’t long before the nose and two eyes of Mr. Otter came up out of the water. He scurried up the muddy side of the stream, slid in the grass on his belly, and then rolled over, giving IAM a quick smile. Then down the mud packed slide he slid, enjoying every motion his slick body made as he played his favorite moves.

“Mr. Otter? Mr. Otter? I have a question for you,” IAM called out, hoping her friend would return.

Sensing a curiosity in the air, Mr. Otter swirled around in the water and returned near the water’s edge where IAM stood.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Otter. You remember my mother? Do you know what she named me?”
Mr. Otter cocked his head and looking up at IAM, he said, “Your mother always called you IAM.” She would smile and I would say, “I’m full of fun and play for always and today.”
IAM thanked her friend and continued on toward the bird sanctuary. She knew Mr. Owl was older than old and very wise, so he would remember what her real name was.

Mr. Owl gave a loud hoot upon recognizing a familiar friend and recalled a young mother and little girl, called IAM, visiting often. The young mother would question the owl and he would respond, “I’m oodles old and worldly wise, I see many points of view for my size.”
IAM thanked the owl and decided to go directly to the cage which housed the king of beasts - the lion. The king would definitely have all the answers.

As IAM came upon the lion’s cage she noticed he was asleep. Not knowing if she should wake the lion from his afternoon nap, she stood very still, thinking. The king opened one eye then the other and zeroed in on IAM standing very still. The lion blinked both eyes and asked with a roar.

“What brings you here, child? Could it be another question?”

“Oh please, King Lion, I really need to know my real name. Can you tell me what it is?”

“I’m the king of the jungle. I’m protector of the entire kingdom. You must know your own name.” The lion’s voice shook the entire cage as he spoke.

“I thought my name was IAM. But this stranger told me that wasn’t my name. I don’t know anymore,” cried the young girl as her ringlets fell on her cheeks wiping away her tears.

“What do you know?” yawned the king, getting ready to return to his nap.

IAM thought for a moment. Throwing back her shoulders and lifting her head, she smiled, “I know lots of things. I’m happy, I’m a good friend, I’m fun to play with, I’m smart and I’m pretty with my dark, brown ringlets that dance with me. I’m......”

The lion opened his mouth and roared a very loud laugh. “See! You really do know who you are and what you can be. So goes your name. IAM.”

The tiny girl, with bouncing brown ringlets turned toward the east, singing as she skipped, “IAM, I say, IAM!” (Vivian Ford)

Who are you? What kinds of things do you say to and about yourself? Are you kind to yourself in the self talk you engage in? Have you let others influence how you view yourself and who you are?

Make a great day and begin to discover who you REALLY are and what you like about yourself

Dr. Susan

Monday, August 24, 2009

Worry Window

Are you a worrier? If so, I have a great skill for you to learn and to practice

First of all write your worries down. Identify a 15 minute "worry time" per day. When you begin to worry, stop and be sure that it is "worry time." If it is not time to worry, think about something else, or do something else until it is "worry time." This may sound simple and ridiculous, but go ahead a try it! It really works.

A second technique is to divide a paper into 4 sections. Label one section, "I Can Control; Important to Me." Label another section "I Cannot Control; Important to Me" Label a third section "Not Important to Me; I Can Control" Label the final section "I Cannot Control; Not Important to Me."

Now list all worries, people, issues, etc. Put them in the proper section. In section one, "I Can Control; Important to Me" - your name should appear. In the secotion "I Cannot Control; Important to Me" - other people's name should appear.

Once we discover what we can control and are willing to release the time, energy and focus of what we cannot control and that is important to us, we spend more quality time making the changes to need to our self, and we are much happier with our self and our life.

"Energy flows where attention goes"

Happy letting go of worry

Dr. Susan

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Daily Joy

Good Morning:

What have you seen today that has brought you joy?

We become what we think about all day long.

There are rainbows and clouds, sunshine and rain every day. What are you looking for and where is your attention placed.

I am too blessed to be depressed.

Make a Great Day

Dr. Susan

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Make a Great Day

Good evening readers:

I am a PhD psychotherapist. I have an office in Salt Lake City, Utah, and Rock Springs, WY. Each of us face each new day with different outlooks. I prefer to look for as many positive things in the world and in people as possible. The one thing we can always control is our thinking and whether we look for the positive or the negative.

Make a great day

Dr. Susan