Anger (Friend or Foe?)

Greetings All: Anyone every get angry? What a question. I am pretty sure that we can all give a YES to that one. There are actually times that anger can be a bit of a friend (not all the time, however). We do get a bit of an adrenalin rush when we get angry, and therefore, seem to have a bit more energy or strength. That can be a plus at times. Anger can also be a motivator to bring about positive change in our life. Anger can also assist us in learning what kind of personal boundaries we need to have. Most of the time, when anger goes unchecked, it become more destructive, than constructive. Here are a few simple (not always easy) techniques to manage anger, rather than letting anger manage you. (And as usual, you will need to practice these techniques when you are calm, so that your brain will code them in and they will be more natural to use when the anger bomb is building. First and foremost - Anger is a Choice. Anger is not a primary emotion. Anger is always covering another emotion such as shame, sadness, fear, anxiety,depression, embarrassment, resentment, irritation, guilt, jealousy, hurt, betrayed, etc. Learn to identify the "REAL" feeling driving the anger. Anger is a "CHOICE." People or things, do not make us angry. We choose to be angry, because of another feelings. Some people will use anger to control and get their way most of the time. "When you are right, you can afford to keep your temper, and when you are in the wrong, you cannot afford to lose it." My dad use to tell us, "When you are right, you do not have to say anything. When you are wrong or angry you should usually say less." "You put your life in the hands of any fool who you think can make you mad." Be sure to practice deep breathing daily. When you breathe deeply, you are less likely to get stuck in the feelings that drive anger. Practice asking yourself, "What do I really want to accomplish at this time?" Learn to take 1 minute breaks (I like to take 1 minute vacations), to breathe, get a drink of water, move my body and my eyes. These skills will also assist in dealing with feelings of anger. Happy emotional management:) Make a Great Day. Dr. Susan Nate